Needing an emotional bailout ...

It is forty-five minutes before the service.   Only a handful of people are there ...the choir, an elder and his wife, and the pastor.   Walking up the steps slowly, she recalls how it has been years since she has been to church.  She hesitates at the front door, her three small children shielded behind and clinging desperately onto her.  She wonders if this is a good idea after all. 

She wants to run away, but something inside her draws her to the door.   Perhaps it's because she remembers as a child, how much a happy and peaceful place it was.  But that was so long ago ...it's just not the same anymore. 

She is about to leave, when the door opens. 

She is greeted by an elder, followed by his wife, and then the pastor.   Mostly fear grips her, but some distant relief, trying to unlock itself from within her deep refines, manifests itself into tears.  They usher her forward into church, and more tears gush forth.  Her children stay back, huddling in a corner by the door.  She is about to explain what is on her mind, but as she tries to wipe the tears away, a blurry glance witnesses a man enter through the door near to where her children are standing.  

She breaks frantically in that direction, and herds her children out the door.   The elder and his wife, and the pastor stand in the doorway, watching as she speeds out of the parking lot.   They then turn to the man who had just entered.

The man speaks softly, "I can explain ...".      He is a member of the church, and highly respected, yet the emotional display that they had just witnessed, and her reaction to this man ...is enough to question what mystery, perhaps hidden beneath the exterior of a Sunday church-goer, may warrant such drastic emotions, causing her to flee.  They hold off their emotions the best they can, and fend off any rash judgments of possible condemnation ...looking the man straight in the eye, awaiting an explanation.

"That is my niece,"  the man offers.  "We haven't seen Hope in years ...that's her name, Hope.  They don't live far from us, but they've made it clear that we are not welcome.  I don't believe Hope is the one who had felt that way about it, but families do have to operate somewhat like families, and that often brings about change ...sometimes unwanted change."

The elder's wife is near tears herself, "What does that all mean ...how does that tie in with what we just saw?  Being unwelcome, and being ...as we just saw, with her running out of the church in a full panic ...are two different things!"

The church member explains, "Well, I may get a bit too philosophical at times for my own good, or anyone else's for that matter, but you are aware of my profession."

The elder's wife interrupts, "What does that have to do with this!  You think that just because you have a high and mighty position in the community or something ...."

The elder leans over to whisper to his wife, "He is a psychiatrist ...he understands these things, perhaps better than you or I."

The psychiatrist continues, "It must have been extremely difficult for her to have brought herself to coming here in the first place, but she must have felt it was a safe place for two reasons.  First of all, this is a church, and in spite of so many efforts to try to destroy that image, it is still viewed by most as a safe place.  The second reason is that she probably felt it was a place where she didn't know anyone ...and no one knew her. Sometimes after prolonged embarrassment and humiliation it is much easier to open up in a fresh new setting.  I'm certain that she has considered coming here many times before, but could not bring herself to.  She must have had to muster up all her resolve to come here ...only to see someone who knew her.  And I'm sure it all broke down for her again when that happened."

The elder's wife feels a slight of embarrassment, but grasps tightly onto her husband's arm, saying nothing more.

The psychiatrist adds, "I suggest the four of us go to her home at once ...you all saw how difficult it was for her.  She must have been very desperate to have come here in the first place.  I'm not meaning that people have to be desperate to go to church, but you saw her ...and you have to agree it was not easy for her.  It's my professional opinion that it was a last resort scenario for her ...and it may even be worse than any of you can imagine."

As they drive to Hope's home, the psychiatrist explains that Hope's husband had a drinking problem years ago, and it was clear that Hope was very embarrassed by his public display ...then distancing themselves from everyone in the family.  It was his guess that the drinking problem most likely not only still existed, but had gotten much worse.  "And my urgency in visiting her right now, is because in many of these cases, there is such a firm hand of control put upon the family ...that it is likely that she would not have been able to leave the house if he'd been there.  He probably had already done the damage, it was possibly worse than any time before, and because of that ...she probably felt like a helpless frightened child, and rightfully so, and ran to the only safe place she knew as a child.  Sadly, her own father, my brother, was an alcoholic too ...and it may seem strange to you, but it has been proven that many daughters marry the same kind of man that there father was ...even as crazy and problematic as that may seem, it is true that it often happens that way.  But, I believe we can help her ...because I believe the husband is not home, and we will have a few safe moments with her before he perchance returns."

As expected, Hope does not answer the door, but they persist in knocking.  The psychiatrist explains, "I do know they have two cars, and one is not here ...so I do believe the husband is not home.  We know she is afraid, but we do know deep down she is wanting help, because she came to the church.  I guess I was the one that caused her to leave the church, but it's different now.  I think she'll open the door for me ...if I just call in to her."

Hope does open the door for her Uncle, and they all walk in.  The children again, are huddled together in a corner ...amongst debris scattered all about.   Mirrors, dishes, and a couple windows are smashed ...chairs are broken, lamps turned over, and only the television appears untouched, still on a sport's channel ...as if anyone was forbidden to turn it off.   

Hope cries, as she opens a cupboard, revealing two full shelves of empty liquor bottles.  "He has been drinking for two weeks ...finished this all off.  Just lost his job too, because he hasn't been at work.  We barely had enough, now we will have nothing!  I told him I was going to go to the police ...but though I feared for the children, I couldn't do that.  He'll stay away now until he sobers up, and will come back all mannerly.  If I'd went to the police, it'd just been harder on all of us.  But I didn't know what else to do ...so I thought I could find someone to listen, perhaps pray for us, so I came to the church."

The pastor leads them all in prayer, then reassures her, "We are going to help ...you can count on us!"

The uncle says he has need of a fix-it man at his office complex, and can give her husband work ...so they will have an income again. 

 Then the next day they return to restock the cupboard ...with liquor.

I know some of you would fear this may be true ...

Does this seem insane?  Does this make you angry?   I'm a little upset myself ...and I'm the one writing the story, which isn't a story I know about personally.   I would be extremely upset if this were a true story!

(Yes, I know that it seems really unrealistic for anyone to rush to her home just because she had left the church crying ...and being able to correctly tie all those details together, goes beyond absurd.  But, I believe absurdities can serve to make a point.  And yes, I do believe that often ignoring the wrongs in our lives ...can cause the situation to reach absurd levels.)

Does it hit home?

Let's put things in perspective ...I'm having a difficult time with all this.   I know this is all too true for some of you ...all too familiar in some respects.   

Are you angry? What are you angry about? Fill in the blanks ...

 .......

Some people lost their life's savings through the diabolical schemes of selfish and ruthless others. This would make you mad also. And if they are bailed out and allowed to continue their financial success, it may seem like restocking the liquor shelf. What the poor girl in the story had to go through, makes me more upset ...but I don't take too kindly to being taken advantage of in other ways either. But when sincere good people in Congress suggest fiscal responsibility, we get stirred up by various factions of our claimed well-meaning people, and we go about like drunkards ourselves. 

The Occupiers get stirred up, so they get angry with the Tea Party. 

The Tea Party may not be accustomed to such ill-mannered behaviors of certain Occupiers. We do have things in common, though we distance ourselves from admitting it. Instead, we don't directly address ponzi-like schemes, nor delve into investigations of even worse; but allow ourselves to be the pawns in the much greater chess game ...to take the fall, and it all happens by confusing you and me, with who they say is using us. Think about it ...but with clear vision, not drunken anger. 

One of the most beautiful places on earth ...is Africa.  Anyone who really knows me, would say, "How do you know, you don't even like to leave the house ...you've never been to Africa!"

I'd have to say that is true, yet I travel the same way I am now.  With a few clicks, I can see the beauty of Africa!  I love to see the joyful energy and enthusiasm of the gazelle; I love to see the fine graceful lines of the zebra, as they travel in their friendly herds.

A far cry ...from a lion resting beside the lamb.

What I don't like to see is a cheetah chasing down one of these beautiful animals.   And I don't think there will ever be a gazelle, or a zebra rooting for the cheetah.

I would never put my life's savings into the stock of a company, in hopes that it would fail. We all have put much into our country, invested way too much hard work to let it fail. Yet, would we allow our bitterness to get in the way, and stand with angry people who want us to stir up a revolution like in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Syria, Oman, Yemen ...and the list goes on and on.   Many protestors are heaped in bitterness.  I heard of a saying that likened bitterness to taking poison, while hoping the other person dies.  Wouldn't you say that is rather self-defeating.

I don't want a revolution ...I don't want anyone to die, and I don't want our country to die either.

I guess the first question should be, whether we want our country to fail ...and then we should ask ourselves, what made our country great. Not great as in powerful, but great!!  Not great as in ...rich in gold, or in whoever has the most toys wins.  It has been virtue that has made us great.  Not the scandalous events of certain embarrassing moments in history, but how we keep our resolve, and decide not to change who we are, in spite of what others have done.

I once took a personality test, and I was the Golden Retriever. I have my faults, and I don't always act like that gentle retriever, but I will try to re-group and retrieve what it is that I'm made of.

As a nation, I believe we have to also retrieve what we feel we are made of ...and to make sure not to follow some whim, or feel good ideological fabrication. We don't want to find ourselves regurgitating the vomit that someone else has forced us to swallow.